Self portraiture is never something I thought I would try. I'm used to being behind the lens, not in front of it. I'm used to being the one to lead the subject, not being the subject and leading myself...and to be honest, the idea was always very daunting to me. I think I speak for myself and many when I say that taking any kind of picture of oneself can be a tough task. Taking selfies, profile pictures, pictures with friends and family, etc. are the perfect opportunities for self-criticism and for our insecurities to get the better of us (don't even get me STARTED on passport photos). We are our own selves' toughest critics, and we find our flaws and dwell on them better than anyone else.
That being said, we are in the midst of a worldwide pandemic. Many of us are home doing online class, possibly laid off or working remotely, and have far more time on our hands than we can usually ever get. This is the time to do the things that we usually don't have the time or energy to do, try new things, and get creative. Personally, as a photographer, my favourite past time is creating content, and taking pictures is my outlet for creativity. This is how I release ideas and develop new ones, how I grow as a photographer, and how I allow my imagination and my feelings to work together to come up with raw, genuine content.
With all of this social distancing and having to cancel shoots, you can imagine I've been itching to release some creative juice. I started seeing that a lot of the photographers that I follow on social media were posting self portraits that they had taken in their homes, and the results were so fun to see and read about. It seemed like they were all having a great time, so I decided to take a stab at it myself. I took it as a challenge to overcome my camera shyness and to express myself and the ideas that I had come up with during quarantine in my own way.
All I can say is that I had a ton of fun doing this shoot, and would recommend self portraiture to any photographer, beginner or professional. It's a great way to experiment, release some creative juice, and even practice some self love. Not to mention, doing a self portrait session totally gives you an excuse to have fun with some makeup and put on a cute outfit.
I will admit the beginning was definitely experimental and slightly tricky. Between running to and from the camera to beat the self-timer and getting comfortable with posing, it took a little time to get good results; but, I laughed A LOT at myself and my awkward pictures, and that's what made this shoot so special. It was just me, with no one else around, being my own critique but also my personal cheerleader. I'm not an experienced model, so I made sure to celebrate the good pictures. It was really cool getting to experience being on the either side of the lens, and I have a greater, newfound appreciation and compassion for what models are able to do.
As far as logistics go, the beauty of self portraiture is that it can be as simple as shooting in a corner of your home, just like I did here, with the most minimal equipment. When I mean minimal equipment, I REALLY mean minimal, amateur equipment. Right before shooting these pictures, I had fully intended to use the tripod that my family has owned for years, only to find that it was broken and dysfunctional...so, I stacked some storage boxes up, propped the camera up on a book, and made that my makeshift tripod. Far heavier to move around the room, but I think I made it work!
Natural light portraits are my favourite kind of portraits, so I set up my camera and the stool I used to sit on right next to a window, and started shooting. The trickiest part of self-portraiture is getting the focus right. If your camera doesn't connect to your phone like mine, you can't see a live view of what your picture is going to look like until after you've taken it. So, I positioned my camera on my "tripod", chose an appropriate frame/ field of view to shoot in, then placed a tall vase of flowers where I was going to be sitting and manually focused on the spot where my upper body was going to be using live view. Do NOT rely on automatic focus for self portraiture. This is incredibly tedious and most likely will not give you the results you are looking for, and you will quickly become very frustrated.
As for posing, I tried not to go for anything super abstract or out of my comfort zone. If you know me, then you know that 99 times out of 100, I am laughing. At anything and everything. I wanted these pictures to paint who I was, so I did lots of laughing and smiling. I also absolutely love including hands in my pictures. I think they add a whole new dimension to a portrait, and contribute immensely to the emotion portrayed in the final photo. So, as you can see, my hands made an avid appearance in these.
After trying out natural light portraits, I decided to do a 180 degree flip of the switch. I closed the blinds and brought out some old Christmas lights and did even more experimenting. THESE WERE TRICKY. Not because shooting with fairy lights is difficult in terms of camera settings or even posing, but let me tell you that 10 seconds on the self-timer were not enough for me to position and detangle the massive knot that formed in the lights each and every time I put them down or picked them up. But after a few failed attempts and frustratingly kicking the lights around numerous times, I got some fun results.
My biggest advice for anyone experimenting with self portraiture is to embrace every minute of it. Cheesy and cliche, I know, but diving right into the experience and letting your imagination and your creativity do their own thing is what will really give you the results you're looking for, and most likely more. Have fun with the camera, play with a hundred poses, and don't be afraid of the bad pictures. Take them as a reason to laugh, and to adjust adequately so as to not make the same mistake the next picture. Whether you're a photographer or not, embrace the freedom of expression that picture-taking has to offer, and express yourself. Most important of all, own. Every. Damn. Picture.